Living with a parent with dementia means every day is a new experience. Behavior can change during the day. She can start out lucid but seem disoriented later, or vice versa.
It can be disconcerting to hear "do they have heat in this place?" "Where do you live?" (she's in my house). "Where's the fridge?" - after going to it every day, several times a day.
Despite this short term stuff, she remembers my wife and me. She talks about home and her childhood. Yet she doesn't know what town she's in or the day of the week.
We have a portable heater in her room since we like it cooler than she does. It has a thermostat so it maintains the set temperature. Every day she unplugs it "because it got too warm." Turns out she pushes the buttons then can't figure out how to fix it so she unplugs it. Go in and say "I see the heater is unplugged again" and the response is "I didn't do it." So tonight "should I leave that turned on all night?"
But at least she's eating more than before - nothing healthy, mind you, but at least getting calories. And she doesn't try to light the burners on our gas stove anymore.
An interesting voyage...
1 comment:
Dementia is tough. My addled mother lived with us in the mid-90s. It was an unforgettable experience and a tremendous opportunity for spiritual growth. Compassion is an action, not a feeling. You're doing very well.
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