I can't taste anything anyway

A sign of the decline that may or may not have been real. Marge never was much of an eater. She would graze more than eat sit down meals. In fact a common statement was "I don't see how people can eat so much."

In the last couple of years she refused to eat even her favorite things like cinnamon toast and sweet snacks. (When she was healthy, dessert was her primary course at every meal. We'd go to a restaurant for dinner and order meals - she'd order a piece of pie or a milkshake - period.) Since she was losing weight we got her to start drinking Boost - lots of calories and plenty of nutrients.

This is where she would contradict herself. She claimed she wasn't eating because she couldn't taste yet when she drank her Boost (with a straw - always with a straw), she would offer it to me or anyone else, "want some? It's real good."

In her last few months she was refusing to eat. She would drink coffee and Boost. Always Boost with a straw. She didn't eat or drink a single thing for her last few days in hospice. She would suck on the wet swab on her lips - that was it. Depressing.

The Slow Decline of Dementia

Mom's ordeal with dementia ended more than a month ago. As I review events in our lives, I come across more early indicators of dementia. Of course, it starts with what seems to be routine forgetfulness - "why did I come in here?"

But there are also changes in personality that are cues that are visible in hindsight. Mom became more emotional about 2-3 years ago. She started hugging and saying "I love you," which she had never done in the previous 80 years. It was nice to think that she was finally becoming more attached to people, but it's also possible that behavior was just part of the rewiring of her brain that was going on. It's more comforting to believe it was the former and not the latter.

After the "why did I come in here" there were incidents with tea kettles boiling dry, forgetting how to operate the microwave, and changes in diet.

Mom was always thin, but as dementia progressed, she stopped eating as much of the few things that she always liked. She started that decline by simply eating less. Over time it got to not eating it at all. In fact, she started exhibiting anorexic behavior, getting down to ~80 lbs (5' 4"). This led her doctors to prescribing drugs simply because their side effects were increased appetite. Within the last 3 months of her life, even those efforts didn't work and she survived on several bottles of Ensure each day. At least she liked those and didn't protest when they were brought to her.

I'll write more about the food issues in future posts.