Living with a parent with dementia means every day is a new experience. Behavior can change during the day. She can start out lucid but seem disoriented later, or vice versa.
It can be disconcerting to hear "do they have heat in this place?" "Where do you live?" (she's in my house). "Where's the fridge?" - after going to it every day, several times a day.
Despite this short term stuff, she remembers my wife and me. She talks about home and her childhood. Yet she doesn't know what town she's in or the day of the week.
We have a portable heater in her room since we like it cooler than she does. It has a thermostat so it maintains the set temperature. Every day she unplugs it "because it got too warm." Turns out she pushes the buttons then can't figure out how to fix it so she unplugs it. Go in and say "I see the heater is unplugged again" and the response is "I didn't do it." So tonight "should I leave that turned on all night?"
But at least she's eating more than before - nothing healthy, mind you, but at least getting calories. And she doesn't try to light the burners on our gas stove anymore.
An interesting voyage...
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Caregiver for mother with dementia
If you ever have to deal with a parent with dementia, be prepared to be inundated with information. The first thing that always comes to mind is Alzheimers, but not all dementia is Alzheimers. My mother has vascular dementia. It is caused by mini-strokes in the brain.
In any dementia, short term memory goes first. There are basic tests they give which can help diagnose dementia. The Merck manual shows the test used for my mother at this link.
What's amazing about dementia is that the person may forget what you told them 5 minutes ago, but then be able to share explicit, detailed recollections of their childhood and early adulthood. I'm learning more about my mother's life than I ever knew before.
My mother is 82 and the symptoms started showing up about 2-1/2 years ago. When it got severe they prescribed Aricept, which is supposed to slow the decline of memory loss. Unfortunately, when living alone, a person with short term memory loss can forget how many pills to take so we ended up in the emergency room from a possible overdose. She was released 2 days later into our care (which she hates).
I will add to this blog with things that come up during our journey through this caregiving exercise. One thing we have learned from lectures, web materials, and more is that in many cases, the caregiver dies before the care receiver does. It can be that stressful.
It's true what they say about your parents raising you as a child and then you taking care of them as they decline into a childlike state. But she's my mother!
In any dementia, short term memory goes first. There are basic tests they give which can help diagnose dementia. The Merck manual shows the test used for my mother at this link.
What's amazing about dementia is that the person may forget what you told them 5 minutes ago, but then be able to share explicit, detailed recollections of their childhood and early adulthood. I'm learning more about my mother's life than I ever knew before.
My mother is 82 and the symptoms started showing up about 2-1/2 years ago. When it got severe they prescribed Aricept, which is supposed to slow the decline of memory loss. Unfortunately, when living alone, a person with short term memory loss can forget how many pills to take so we ended up in the emergency room from a possible overdose. She was released 2 days later into our care (which she hates).
I will add to this blog with things that come up during our journey through this caregiving exercise. One thing we have learned from lectures, web materials, and more is that in many cases, the caregiver dies before the care receiver does. It can be that stressful.
It's true what they say about your parents raising you as a child and then you taking care of them as they decline into a childlike state. But she's my mother!
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